April 1,2017

Baby steps literally! I have to do everything through baby steps. I woke up today and was hit with nausea, insane migraine, sensitivity to lignt and my head spinning. Kind of hitting a wall of physical pain i only managed to eat one cracker and hurried up to take my pills. Then layed down on the sofa curled up under my blankets blocking out the bright light from the window. I should have expected some days to be easier than others, how naive of me to not think of this. My home care nurse came to visit me today and i asked what i should expect basically.
 I've been keeping tabs on my side effects from my medicine. I want to make sure i document everything that way i dont miss or forget anything. My memory isn't  good  as it was. My brain can't function properly yet so i make sure i have something with me to help think/talk clear for me. I cant see my future so i dont know whats next or what to expect. Just one day at a time process new information and get a better understanding of everything. Sometimes i find myself wanting to cry because it gets to be too much for me and its hard for me and not taking a shower independently or do anything like that without help hits me even more.
I was in a horrible place this morning that i couldn't even take a shower or brush my teeth standing up. I honestly didn't really care either.